Communication re-mystified

We are usually aware of only a tiny fraction of our communication. Human communication is a seemingly high-ordered activity of our consciousness, and yet, non-verbal communication, albeit extremely influential, is seldom noticed. We are nevertheless capable of sharpening our subliminal perception, widening the communication channels between those natural unconscious mechanisms and conscious awareness. In-fact, when considering the amount of unconscious massages we deliver and receive every second, each of us can be considered psychic: our conscious awareness plays a tiny role in the whole picture of communication.

Along Integrative Massage Therapy (IMT), which takes advantage of the primary need for touch, it is often found that feelings and emotions arouse, sometimes addressing the therapist. Sometimes, it is exactly here where therapeutic processes begin.

As any therapist or psychology student knows, the subjective processes of subliminal emotional arousal can be put into nice, professional jargon as transference and counter-transference, but these terms can neither grasp the emotional potential of unconscious communication nor appreciate the magical mystery tour that takes place in such a setting.

In our age, where holistic and complementary medicine disciplines are fighting to demystify the magic attributed to them (in order to get scientific approval), I would like to challenge that view. There is mysticism in therapy. There is magic in any therapy, especially in those doctrines that work with unconscious processes. The magic, though, is natural - it lies within us. No scientist will ever convince me that communication is not magical, that any good therapy is less than a psychic phenomenon [see The Magic of Hypnosis].

Applying the healing touch

The following cases presented here are examples of the special interacting aspects that I found interesting enough to share. They all include common phenomena, and every therapeutic-relationship in IMT would surely include some of those characters. They do not, however formulate a theoretical thesis about the development of subliminal communication and the preconditions for its expression, but rather serve an intimate account.

These following cases are not a demonstration of unique abilities or sensitivity of the therapist. We all possess the potential of acknowledging subliminal communication and of further utilising it consciously. Close observation and receptivity guarantee that this kind of communication is qualitatively repeatable. Clients receiving on-going session will learn to recognise and utilise unconscious communication to create a more fertile dialogue with their bodies (or unconscious minds). Some of the following phenomena might look supernatural to the lay observer, yet this is as natural an event as a touch, as magical a communication as a smile. So, aren't we all magicians?

This young busy woman was extremely cynical and wore a whole wardrobe of defences. Her attitude was unpleasant and she spoke to me like a customer to her grocer. During the massage I had many unpleasant feelings- beginning with insecurity and anger, lack of confidence and self-defeating thoughts. I felt that I smelled awfully bad and was unable to relive myself throughout the session. I then felt a growing anger and shame, and developed intolerance, trying to finish the session as quickly as possible.

A few days after the massage she called me to apologise. She said that she felt lousy because she had not taken a shower before the massage and was embarrassed because of her body-odour. Feeling angry with herself, she could not relax, and wanted to go home and take a shower. She said that she also felt uncomfortable with me being a beginner Massage-therapist.

Somehow I had the same feelings and it took me a while until I could absorb this information and digest it. That basic feature of non-verbal information transmission is evident and inevitable in any communication. The therapeutic context is a perfect safety-base to explore and reflect on such transmissions.

Reliving and reframing traumatic experiences is usually done in a psychotherapeutic or a hypnotherapeutic context. However, systematic use of a suitable IMT setting can supply the nutrients for a spontaneous occurrence of regression and positive reframing. In IMT the client is allowed to explore the feeling and create new bodily paths of storing them, thus creating alternatives to the patterned reactions.

This woman was slightly frightened at the initial interview and began undressing before I left the room. This reaction is not uncommon, since many people find the first minutes of therapy intimidating, and they are eager to 'get it over with'. However safe the environment is, however open to questions is the therapist: sometimes building rapport takes time, and the first steps of mutual-trust are often harder and slower. It is therefore crucial to allow time for questions, and for those who do not ask - to supply the needed explanation to eliminate as much stress and tension fear as possible. Upon the beginning of the IMT session, her body was very stiff. Whenever I approached her body, she tightened her fist or held on firmly to the edge of the massage table. She did not say a word, although I asked her to inform me if anything bothered her during the interview and she happily agreed to do so. 

As soon as I noticed her tension, I touched her tight fist gently to signal an acknowledgement and she would then let loose, in a submissive - almost surrendered way. I had felt an unbearable agony; soon realising it was projected. She needed comfort. It suddenly occurred to me, very naturally, that she had been sexually abused, and (after getting verbal permission to continue) the touch became much more comforting, warm and lulling. She had adopted a foetus posture, relaxed and gave out a burst of baby-cry, at which I soothed her with a continuing, gentle massage, until the crying was over. Her body was relaxed and at ease, and she looked as if the hurricane-turmoil had passed. She then told me that she was raped some months ago.

Empathy can be the communication channel to the collective unconscious sphere. When the appropriate warmth is given to those in the need of it, regression often occurs and not infrequently people strivingly drink all the loving energy they can absorb, as if they were compensating for a deep deficiency. When finished, they are sometimes drawn back to their adult mode - partly or completely amnesic of their previous behaviour. That information can be revived in the next session or in dreams. Alternatively is can be manifested unconsciously during awareness. This phenomenon of state-dependent memory is of enormous therapeutic importance, and is widely accessible through touch.

This woman was a very sensitive and defensive person, with a terrible history of neglect and abuse, and plenty of psychotherapy without ever working through the tough image, as she framed it: never letting go. Throughout the session I was flooded with strong emotions. 

At the beginning I could not concentrate at all but then, realising it was her busy mind, I integrated a short active imagery exercise in the session. After she had absorbed herself in visualisation, the excessive thinking ceased. Whilst working on her back, I have noticed that each time I laid my hands over her scapulas (about six inches in the air), she gave a harsh uncontrollable sob. I repeated this procedure during the massage-session few times, each time eliciting a cry, which was gradually becoming calmer. In the feedback talk we had afterwards she was extremely excited, so I reassured her that crying often occurs during massage and it is a legitimate response, just as any other, sometimes even welcomed and elaborately utilised (abreaction has a powerful energetic potential). On hearing that, the client replied: "Yes, I can see why people cry, it touches you deep. I have almost cried myself".

Non-verbal communication and non-verbal therapy in IMT are usually very subtle. Some psychotherapists believe that non-verbal therapy is mainly good for people who find speaking a difficult task (Brown & Pedder, 1991). The Psychodynamic approach notes that moving from metaphor to verbal communication is very beneficial. Modern hypnotherapy, however, and especially Ericksonian hypnotherapy highly regard the power of metaphors. And metaphors do not necessarily need to be verbal. I believe that sometimes 'talking psychotherapies' reach people for whom feeling is not an easy medium. Sometimes they emphasise thinking rather than experiencing, analysing instead of being and feeling. In some cases, touch therapy can reach levels just as deep as in psychoanalysis. Sometimes, even deeper than that.

This widowed woman was an intellectual and judgmental lady. She started off by questioning me at length, virtually testing my anatomical, physiological and pathological knowledge (which is of-course, a legitimate demand to a certain extent), and only after she approved of me we began. She was unable to show any weakness and gave credit solely to intelligence. During the first session it was obvious that the experience was highly emotional for her. The passionate and warm energy was remarkably beneficial for her. It was almost as if she was loaded with new energy reserves. During the session she was very talkative and I noticed that whenever an emotional body response was evident, she began talking. It was as if intellectual talking was her escape from feeling. In the next session I told her she can speak as much as she wishes, yet I need to concentrate and to be silent. At first, she asked me questions when emotions were aroused, and when I did not answer - she moved to a monologue. She had talked about numerous subjects, almost without halt. Then, after almost forty minutes, she stopped. She than spontaneously displayed signs of a profound somnambulistic trance and I could massage her body thoroughly, far beyond her conscious pain threshold. When the session ended she kissed me, her face was glowing and her eyes wet (common trance phenomena). She was exhausted and told me that healing was made, and that she had had nice memories of her late husband during the massage, that she hadn't have for a long while. It was as if another set of vocabulary has suddenly become available to her. She continued on to flourish upon the next sessions, until we could increase the intervals without effecting the results.

We all use our sexuality in different contexts, in almost every relationship we engage with. Animals communicate their sexuality with sex hormones, such as pheromones. There is a scientific debate regarding the effects of sex hormones on human behaviour. I am positive that they play a role in our relationships to certain extent. However, we are surely unconsciously communicating sex in many other ways as well.

Sexuality and Massage is a delicate and potentially dangerous situation. The therapist's role is to keep the boundaries between physical warmth to sexual touch, and sometimes it is not an easy task. Many massage therapists deny the existence of sexuality in their work, but physical sexual arousal is a normal human reaction, which is biologically bound to happen once in a while. Instead of ignoring its existence, it is crucial that the therapist will notice it and work through it. Since sexuality is a highly energetic behaviour, I sometimes try to translate those conscious or unconscious sexual attitudes into other high-energy languages and thereafter utilise it: turning them into beneficial therapeutic applications.

This woman was frustrated from her marriage and resented her husband. She manifested conflicting behaviours - highly exhibited sexuality and flirtation on one hand and an extremely inhibited attitude towards touch on the other hand. She was only acting permissively. During the first session I could barely touch her. She was just too ticklish; every other touch made her twist and laugh (these responses are fine, as long as the client feels good with them), followed by an apology and artificial relaxation. Deeper touch was too painful for her to bear.

The Body-Mind connection is a very strong one. Repressing is highly correlated with ulcers, hypertension and many other illnesses (among which are also some kinds of cancer, Aids and heart diseases). Bulimia can be seen as an unconscious understanding of suppression and negative body image. This emotional-cognitive disorder, which carries grave physical and psychological consequences, is dissociated and translated into concrete physical problem. Could it be that the distress can communicate itself without any conscious awareness?

The client mentioned nothing in the interview. She talked openly; her attitude towards her body seemed natural and healthy and she could tolerate deep-tissue work quite easily. Her face and body showed no objection and no expressions were noticed, regardless of how deep I worked. I noticed destructive tendencies in the stomach. At first, I had noticed the signs of stomach acidity in myself, after which I asked her whether she has some digestive problems and if anyone harms her in any way. She told me that she has been hurting herself for several years by being bulimic. Upon her confession, my acid stomach stopped immediately.

We worked together for some time, with her responding in a more infantile manner, adopting a foetus posture and absorbing, not without resistance, some love and warmth. She began her first non-destructive relationship around the time we finished the sessions. She is now married and told me that she has not vomited for about three years now.

In our first therapeutic encounter, this young man was in the midst of an identity crisis. He was flooded (due to external events as well as internal motivations) with emotions for the first time in his life, was confused and rationalised his turmoil to an excessive extent. He was a total mess seeking help. I used some stress management techniques and he immediately developed a profound somnambulistic trance, in which a spontaneous analgesia and anaesthesia were evident. When I massages the solar plexus (a neurological centre beneath the sternum) I could feel his ego drifting downwards to his stomach, where all the emotions were kept.

From my experience, men's bodily representation of ego is usually located around the solar plexus (one might refer to it as a metaphor, where man's power lie in his chest-muscles), while women's ego lies lower in their stomach, closer to their emotions and more accessible and flexible. It is my belief that in the core of this distinction lay some of the sexual differences, where men tend to be alienated from their feelings and closer to control and power issues. During the work on specific areas, thoughts about his late father came to my mind and shortly afterwards tears appeared in his eyes. When asked about his feelings, the client's information confirmed my thoughts. I found that only when I stop trying and calibrated myself towards the client, this kind of information transformation was made possible.

The turmoil was beneficial to him, because he was a reactive, passive person. It was only when he suffered some psychic pain that he became motivated to come to terms with his problems and move forward. He moved out of his parents' home, left his town and began psychotherapy. When I saw him a couple of months later, his ego was 'located' much higher and the emotional distress made way for a more creative attitude to life.

Among the loci for psychosomatic communication, such as the hypothalamic limbic pituitary system, the gastrointestinal tract - from the mouth down to the anus - is rich with opiate receptors, which modulate feelings and form a mind-body communication. 'Gut feelings' are thus more than metaphorical. In Zen-Buddhism the student is faced with 'Koans' - questions that can not be logically answered. He must therefore shift to another mode of thinking - something that is best described as 'gut thinking'. This enables him to gradually get close to 'Saturi' - the emotional orgasm, the reuniting with the universe, synthesis of the 'self' with the whole. Zen's journey towards unity found a modern parallel in Jung's analytic psychology, and in modern Shamanism.

The Sexual system is also rich with opiates. Could this serve as the biological explanation for the shift in thinking mode that occurs during sexual arousal?

In Patrick Suskind's 'Perfume', the hero has the sharpest sense of smell ever. In NLP he would be described as having an olfactory leading representation system. He soon learns to understand everything in olfactory terms and to relate to the world solely on this ground. He realises, for example, that people fall in love because of unnoticeable odours; resent or are disgusted by an unconscious sensation of smells. He further tries and succeeds to alter responses by the use of different perfumes. He argues that he can achieve whatever behaviour he wishes, it only requires the right scent. Is it so far fetched?

After the massage I asked her whether she was thinking of dentists. Amused and amazed she told me that she is on her way to a painful and frightening dental surgery, and was thus preoccupied with these thoughts throughout the session.

A final remark needs to be made on the ability to communicate with the unconscious. I genuinely believe that in order for high-levelled communication, let alone healing, to take place, higher will than our own is necessary. I can only testify for myself, that in each and every successful change-work, in each and every successful healing I was involved: I used something bigger than I. As for its name: it is insignificant - you may call it god, love, good-intentions, collective unconscious. It is, regardless of the name you choose, bigger than my own ego. It is what enables me to do therapy - it is it that heals.

I believe that it is precisely here that the power and the future of therapeutic science and practice lay.

Suskind, P. (1984), Perfume - The story of a murderer